I’m Back from Leave and I Have Thoughts
I came back from maternity leave a few weeks ago, which had led to a lot of self-reflection as the new year begins. I made an Instagram post about it (check it out - @growthandhealingllc) and wanted to expand upon it here. I broke it into three sections - what I accomplished last year, what I learned, and looking ahead to 2026. Let’s begin with what I accomplished.
What I Accomplished in 2025
What a year I had in 2025! I was pregnant for most of it while my son entered toddlerhood, so the fact I survived that means I deserve a medal, and quite frankly makes everything else that I accomplished that much cooler. In today’s busy world, we as moms forget how amazing it is that we grow humans in our freaking bodies. Like, you could be making breakfast and growing an arm. Sitting in a work meeting and developing a lung. Because I was so busy this year, and had already been pregnant before, I think I took for granted the absolutely amazing thing my body did. When I was pregnant with my son, I was on top of the What to Expect app every week, seeing what how big he was in terms of food and 90s toys. With my daughter, I was doing too much to check in on that every week, which in some ways made me less in tune with what my body was accomplishing day in and day out. As I’ve been returning from leave, snuggling with my new little bundle of joy, I have been looking back and really appreciating what my body did this past year, and continues to do as I pump away, feeding her all day, every day. Exclusive pumping moms - I see you!
While growing my daughter, I also took the leap into solo private practice after an amazing 5+ years in a group practice in Montgomery County. I loved my job there, but I felt like it was time to bring my services to Frederick County. Being an eating disorder specialist and EMDR-certified therapist, I thought my unique skill set was needed up here and decided to make the leap in the middle of my pregnancy. Crazy? Maybe. But it also gave me the opportunity to get settled before maternity leave and start meeting some amazing providers during my last trimester and maternity leave. It has been such an amazing experience and I’m looking forward to how the practice will grow this year.
Oh, and that EMDR certification happened this year too. That took years of clinical work and consultation and I finally accomplished it, also while pregnant!
What I Learned in 2025
With all of those accomplishments in mind, I would say one of my biggest takeaways from this year was that it truly takes a village. I’m the type that used to believe I could do everything and anything all the time. However, this year I really had to face the fact that I can’t do everything on my own. I needed consultation to set up my practice the right away. I needed a babysitter to help me with my son toward the end of my pregnancy and prodromal labor was wreaking havoc on my body. When family visited during maternity leave, I actually asked them to do things instead of just trying to do it all alone (my mother was thrilled). I accepted my husband’s help with my toddler more than I had before, which was amazing for me but also strengthened their relationship in the sweetest ways. I hosted Thanksgiving and did literally nothing except hold my daughter and talk to people the whole time (cue: guilt, anxiety, etc.). This was all really hard for me to do, but moving forward, I want to continue to lean on the people around me more, instead of putting everything on my shoulders and pushing through it.
This next piece I knew from my last maternity leave, but still holds true today - I think I’m meant to be a working mom. It’s really hard dividing my time and I often feel like I’m not doing anything 100% but it was really hard to just be home with the kids. I missed the adult conversations, I wondered how my clients were doing when I was out and had to exercise a lot of restraint to not reach out and check in, I missed networking with other providers and meeting new people. My first week or two back from maternity leave, where my clients and I were catching up on everything I missed, filled my cup in ways I didn’t expect. Not that my family doesn’t fill it too (I’m very content wearing my daughter while writing this blog, for example), but my clients hold a special place in my heart too. It feels good to be back!
Looking Ahead
One of the things I learned this year was that I have this creative side to me when it comes to my business, which I didn’t even know I had! Part of looking ahead in this new year is beginning to plan out new ways to serve clients, providers, and the Frederick County community. I’m beginning to offer trainings and consultations to providers around eating disorders and trauma to help other clinicians feel more confident in their capabilities. I’m starting to work on some online courses and actually joined the board of a nonprofit while I was on maternity leave, both of which you will hear more about later this year. Starting next month, I’m going to begin my training to become certified in perinatal mental health so that I can receive specialized training in all things motherhood - fertility, pregnancy, postpartum and beyond.
On the personal front, I plan to spend this year trying to be more present, something I usually really suck at because I’m always in my head thinking about what needs to be done. I ordered a Brick, a device that literally locks me out of my useless apps to help with focus. I’ll write more about that once I get it and start using it! I also plan to re-establish my relationship with exercise as the one part of my day that is solely for me. I couldn’t exercise while pregnant because it hurt and I became breathless so easily, so I’m really looking forward to getting back into that as a way to refill my cup.
Lots going on in the world of Growth & Healing, and I look forward to what this year will bring!
